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VALLEY CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH

The Cry of a Fathers' Heart:  Pray for Deacon

11/18/2022

1 Comment

 
The following is shared with permission, minor edits have been made. 

Deacon is the grandson of our friends Paul and Cindy.

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This is our son, Deacon Joel Dolby.  He is almost 11 years old. Deacon has Pans or Pandas Syndrome (auto immune disease that affects the brain). Our world got flipped upside down this past January.  Deacon, one Sunday in January, attempted killing himself several times. That's where our journey begins.

Since the thoughts and attempts couldn't stop, Deacon was taken to hospital in London, ON for answers. We were given some, but still something wasn't right. Through some friends, God showed up and opened some doors. Deacon is seeing the leading doctor for Pandas here in Chatham.  Since then, and many appointments later, Deacon is on a ton of meds; always changing due to circumstances. 

This July we had to call the police on our son because of a 4-hour flare up; that was heart breaking. Deacon was getting better and then we had a setback. Everything around us effects our immune system and for Deacon that much more.  Deacon started school in September and now it is being paused. He is in a zombie- like state and can hardly function. 

He has a very important procedure called IVIG in December. This is a blood transfusion to help bring up his immune system. Please pray that a bed opens sooner, so this can happen sooner.  Please pray for our family. I can't explain all the ups and downs, I can't explain the pain and hurt we have all had. But to watch/listen to your son ask questions about heaven because he can't take it anymore; "Dad my head hurts, it won't stop"; "mom, why am I here, what is heaven going to be like, I want to go soon" -- wow, those moments I can't even begin to explain.  

During this last year our faith has been tested but has not failed; my mental state has been tested and affected, but not failed. We've been affected physically from Deacon, but God continues to give us strength.
We've been tested financially. My wife paused her work career for 6 months to give everything to our son, then figured out a way to start 2 new careers and support our son when he was home. Now we are being asked again to trust God completely as our son and school are being paused, and who knows what the future looks like?

Thank you for all who have prayed and continue to pray for our son Deacon.  Please pray for my daughter Nevaeh too, she has been a champ through all of this, and for Sarah and myself for wisdom, strength, discernment, patience -- for a miracle in Deacon's life, for our financial situation and possible future treatments that could assist him.

God is good all the time!  God bless and have a blessed Christmas season.

If anyone wants a look into our lives, watch "Brain on Fire" on Netflix or "Stolen Childhood" on YouTube.

1 Comment

Responding to the Chaos

5/28/2022

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Truly my soul finds rest in God; 
my salvation comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; 
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
    he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
    pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. 
                                                                                                     Psalm 62:1-2, 5-7

Perhaps like me, you have been troubled, deeply troubled, by recent events.  I simply cannot fathom how an 18 year-old could shoot his grandmother and then enter a school and take the lives of so many children, along with two teachers.  I cannot image the anguish those families are experiencing; the images are heart-wrenching, and yet far too common today.  I cannot comprehend the thought of going to the grocery store and never returning home.  How do we seek to make sense of yet another racially motivated mass shooting? How do you explain the senseless school yard swarming and beating of a 14 year-old boy?   How do we process the horrific sights and sounds we see daily from the Ukraine? 

We see the expressions of anger, we hear the cries, 'this has to stop', yet the hatred and violence continues; even as those in power speak words of condemnation, but continue to stoke the fires of division and strife.  While all of this troubles me, I fear for the well-being of my children, for the world in which my grandchildren will grow up.  How do we as a people of faith process all this?  How do we respond to the chaos all around us?  

As I thought about this, three thoughts come to mind.  First, we have to remind ourselves of the truth about our humanity; that we are sinful beings.  We're not just a little off-track, such that a re-alignment will fix things. We deeply flawed, unable in and off ourselves to repair our brokenness.  The Bible says, The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. (Jeremiah 17:9)  No call to action, to reconciliation and harmony, no legislation, law or policy revision, no program to improve mental health or provide sensitivity training, no amount of funding, no threat of punishment or increase in weaponry can change the human heart.  If we do not experience the grace of God, who alone can transform the heart of a man or woman, there is no hope of lasting peace.  

Secondly, we must return to the values we find in the word of God.  So  much of what is happening in our nation, in our world, stems from the fact that we have chosen to abandon, to ignore the truth we find in the Bible. We have failed to pass on these values to our children and ceased to be a voice for godly values in our communities; opting for a safe, comfortable 'religion'.  This doesn't necessary mean we have to demonstrate on the street corner, but we can make a difference by being kind and compassionate, speaking respectfully, demonstrating common courtesy, expressing appreciation rather than complaint and giving rather than demanding.   

Paul writes to the believers in Ephesus:  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:29, 31-32)   May the words of Proverbs 21:23, from Eugene Pederson's 'The Message' speak to each of us...Watch your words and hold your tongue; you’ll save yourself a lot of grief. 

A simple 'thank you', can lift the spirits of so many that are feeling worn out and beat up and unappreciated.  A 'how can I help', might just be a lifeline to someone who feels helpless.  An 'I am here for you', may be that which gives hope to the hopeless.

Finally, we can and we must pray, for God has promised, 
if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:14)  

My friends at Valley, I want to encourage you to speak kindly, to act with compassion, to stand firm in the truth, to pray fervently and to hold on in trust, to the One who is our refuge and strength.  And maybe, just maybe, we can change our little corner of the world, as we seek to be agents of blessing; as we respond to the chaos that is our world today.
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Thank You for Praying

10/15/2021

2 Comments

 
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It has been said, 'a picture is worth a thousand words'.  When I see this picture of Luke, holding tightly to Andrea's hand, it is, as a friend wisely observed, a reminder that we must hang on to the Giver of Life for our every breath.  

For a month now, these little guys have fought and they continue to fight. Every day they hold on to life is a small victory as their bodies struggle to develop.  THANK YOU for joining in this fight; your prayers matter!

Thank you for your words of encouragement to Janice and me and to Andrea and Jason.  Every day they make their way to the NICU, they see the lights flashing, the alarms beeping, they watch closely the monitors.  To see your little ones struggling, to see their oxygen levels or heart rate fall dangerously low, to watch the dedicated staff move quickly to respond and wonder will they rebound, is heart-wrenching.  As a dad I just want to hold them and reassure them 'it's going to okay', but that isn't possible right now; and so we trust and pray!

The Bible encourages us to, 
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.  (James 4:8)  Through all the ups and downs of these past few weeks, our God has been gracious and kind, His faithful love a constant source of strength and joy.  We have also found a source of great blessing in sharing this journey in community, with friends who have stormed the gates of heaven, interceding for Noah and Luke.  THANK YOU for praying!

Right now, we are holding on by faith, our joy tempered by the reality they are still fighting for their lives.  By faith we are looking to that day when they are strong enough to leave the NICU and go home, to that day when they will come to Valley and I can say, 'I would like you to meet my grandsons, Noah and Luke'.  We covet your continued prayers!

The words of the God, as recorded by the prophet Isaiah strengthen and encourage me:  For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you. (Isaiah 41:13)
2 Comments

He Gives Strength to the Weary

9/11/2021

1 Comment

 
He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
                                                                                                        Isaiah 40:29
It is a message I have received several times over the past few days, a message that goes something like this:  'Welcome back, I trust you had a good break, that you are rested and refreshed'. While I am grateful for the gift of some time off and I did have a chance to shut down and put aside ministry responsiblitites for a season, and we did enjoy some time with all of our kids together for the first time in two years, to be honest, I'm tired -- the kind of tiredness that is both physical, mental and spiritual.

I don't know about you, but just watching the news these days can be draining!  As a global pandemic continues and Covid numbers in our province, especially in the Interior Health region remain a concern, with a long and devestating wildfire season also impacting our region, a Federal election campaign, with all of its unrest and division, with deep concerns around racial tension and inequality in our nation and around the globe, natural disasters such as earthquakes, floods, hurricanes and typhoons, and the conflict in Afghanistan, the human toll is heart-wrenching.

We have been blessed to be able to stay close and engaged with each other over the past 18 months, but it still feels like Covid is hanging over us like a cloud and we are not yet able to engage fully as we might wish we could.  I celebrate the character and strength of Valley that has been revealed through this season but sometimes it just feels like 'too much'.  

Add to all this, a deep concern we have for Andrea and Jason and the unborn twins she is carrying, with a signficant risk for a premature delivery and the possibility she may lose them, you can understand why I am feeling tired; perhaps you are as well.

It is such a blessing to know that God sees and God cares, and He invites us to find rest in Him; that He is the God who makes me lie down in green pastures, who leads me beside quiet waters, who  refreshes my soul. (Psalm 23:2-3)

In Psalm 4, David give us this promise of
rest: In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord,
make me dwell in safety. (Psalm 4:8)

David writes in Psalm 62:  Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him.  Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. (Psalm 62:1-2,5)

Asaph offers us these words of encouragment from Psalm 73:  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  (Psalm 73:6)

To His people, God gives this promise through the prophet Jeremiah,  I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint. (Jeremiah 31:25)

Perhaps you have a verse that God has used to encourage you; please share it with us!

For me, as we move into a new ministry year I am choosing to hold on to these words, this promise from God:  My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest. (Exodus 33:14)  May we find rest and strength and hope as we walk together with our Lord into the fall season; I am grateful to share the journey with you.


1 Comment

Thanks Mom!

5/6/2021

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Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.
                                                                                                                                                      Proverbs 17:6
​I am seeing this truth from the writer of the Proverbs lived out in the life of my mom and in my own life.  Each time I talk to her, I hear the joy as she talks about her children and great-grandson and I feel that sense of pride as I reflect on the one I call 'mom'.

My mom is an amazing lady.  She has not had an easy life.  Her mother died when she was just a little girl. Her father was still a part of her life, but she was raised by her Aunt Grace, who was a kind and gentle soul.  She was married at 17 and had two children before her 20th birthday. Life with my dad was difficult at times; he was a good man in many ways but he was an alcoholic, a much different man when he had too much to drink.  It's fair to say my mom bore the brunt of his anger and outbursts.  By the time I was ten, my dad had left us; my mother was doing the 'single mom thing' long before the term became popular. 

When advised by a social worker to quit work and rely on the welfare system my mom refused.  She worked all day and took care of three children, providing for all that we needed.  We never had a lot and sometimes went without things that were not absolutely necessary, but she always made sure we had food on the table and clothes on our back.  Often she would scrape together change so that there was milk in the fridge. She was creative in being able to stretch our groceries.  I was reminiscing with her in a recent call about meals that consisted of macaroni and a can of stewed tomatoes or ground beef mixed with a can of vegetable soup. I remember the four of us sharing a can of soup; the cans must have been bigger back then!  

When my dad left, I had to stop playing little league baseball, but I still played with the kids in the neighborhood and the local park. I don't know how she did it, but when I wanted to play hockey, she found a way to provide the equipment needed.  My equipment was used, I never had new skates but I got to enjoy the game as I grew through my teenage years.  I remember a time when we took an overnight trip to Niagara Falls with one of my mom's friend and her two kids; it's funny how that stands out in my mind.  Another time we shared a cottage with the same family at Mitchell's Bay; that was mom doing something special within the limitations of her budget and creating lasting memories.  

When I think of my mom the word 'sacrifice' comes to mind; she was the one who went without so that we had what we needed.  She was and is a woman of great strength.  Outside of the Lord Jesus, I don't know of any other person who models sacrificial love as my mom did.  To this day, she doesn't have a lot, but is still very giving.  One time she gave a cheque (my mom still uses cheques, she even types them!) to help with travel expenses when Janice went back to help out after she had surgery.  I told Janice just to leave the cheque -- that was a mistake! I've had to learn the grace to receive and just say 'thank you'.

With the pandemic dragging on and travel still risky, it's been over a year since I last saw my mom.  We celebrated her 80th birthday virtually and connected the same way at Christmas.  (We're grateful that Scott is close enough that he and Tiffany and Riley can visit my mom.)  I wish I could hug my mom and say 'Happy Mother's Day' but maybe a phone call to simply say 'thanks mom' will remind her how much she means to me and how blessed I am to call her 'mom'!
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Covid Fatigue

1/21/2021

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Let me begin this posting by saying 'thank you'!  Thank you for doing your part to practice good Covid protocols in order to help stop the spread of the coronavirus.  Thank you for you support and kind remarks regarding the recent interview I gave on Global BC in which I was seeking to present a more balanced perspective with regard to honoring public health orders, orders which have limited our ability to gather in-person.  I do understand that the gathering is fundamental to who we are as a church, that we are missing the joy that is ours to worship and fellowship together face-to-face.  Thank you for the sacrfices being made for the greater good.

In talking with many of you, I am encouraged and grateful for the way you are staying connected and seeking to support one another.  Some of us are feeling a measure of Covid fatigue, but we must continue to do the right thing until we are able to gather safely -- we need to continue to pray to that end.

This sense of feeling isolated, being tired of the restrictions in place and wanting to return to some semblance of normalcly is very real.  I look back over the past 10 months and would never imagined that we would be unable to gather for almost half of this time.  I think of friends who have gone home to be with the Lord and lament the inablity to have been able to come alongside them in their final days; in the inabitly to celebrate and honor their lives in community.  I think of friends who are even now dealing with health concerns or are just feeling lonely and while it is good to talk or pray with them on the phone, it's not quite the same as being able to sit with them.

With the current outbreak at Sunnybank, Janice and I are being extra-diligent, staying close to home, only being out when necessary. Even though I have worked from home for years, there is a sense of feeling cooped up a times.  And there of times when I lie awake a night thinking about and praying for the safety of my wife and children and for you, my church family.  I have watched, as I'm sure many of you have, all the events that have been unfolding in our nation and in the United States and sometimes I find myself angered by the blatant disregard for common courtesy and decency, the spirit of defiance I am seeing to often on the nightly news--there is just too much criticism and complaining, opposing and protesting; something within longs for a better day.

In all of this, the Word of God continues to bring rest to my soul.  There is great comfort in hearing God say in His Word...in quietness and trust is your strength (Isaiah 30:15)  There is a peace we experience in hearing Jesus say...Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).

When wonder, how can we find our way forward, God says to us...Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path (Psalm 119:105).  And so we pray...Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long (Psalm 25:4-5).

I share all of this with you, to encourage you to stay the course, to hold on to the vision of that day when we can gather again, take off our masks, sing loudly with great joy, take the hand of one another and bow together in prayer and hug one another!  Until that day, lets keep doing our part to lift up the spirits on one another, to comfort and encourage and support each other and above all to pray for each other.

I am so very proud of all of you!  In all that we have had to endure, I am seeing the character, the strength, the very heart of Valley; you are an amazing group of friends, caring, compassionate and generous and I guess I just wanted to say 'thank you' -- I thank God for you.
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New Year Reflections

12/31/2020

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I received a call late last night from our son.  Scott had just finished a 16-hour shift, Tiffany and Riley were asleep when he got home and he just needed to debrief.  The ICU unit at the hospital where he works was at capacity; Covid patients who would normally be in the ICU were being sent to the Covid unit, which was also full, over-flowing to another floor, and a make-shift unit has been set up in the parking lot. That staff would feel overwhelmed would an understatement.  Adding to the burden of caring for these patients was a phone call to a family member to inform them their loved one was near death.

With the rising death count at McKinney Place and across our province, the alarming numbers south of the border and the staggering case counts and deaths globally, it's fair to say that Covid-19 has dominated our world in 2020.  Add to this pandemic the injustice, violence and unrest we have witnessed, it is no wonder we are eager to put this year behind us.  As we anticipate a New Year and pause and reflect on the year that has been, we have to work extra hard to identify the blessings that have been mingled with all of this sadness.

As we do just that, pause and reflect, to do as the hymnwriter exhorts, to count our blessings, there is much for which to give thanks.  While many have lost their jobs and have struggled to make ends meet, because of the faithfulness of you, the people of Valley, my salary has not been affected and we have been able to meet all of our expenses and obligations. Janice as an essential worker has continued to work throughout the year, as have all of our kids.  We have a roof over our heads, clothes on back and food on the table, the very things we should never take for granted.

In March we celebrated the arrival of our grandson, who we were able to visit prior to all the travel restrictions being put in place.  We have know the grace and favor of our God as we have called out to Him when Scott was hospitialized with Covid.  We have experienced the love and support of family and friends and in many ways the bond we have in Christ has been strengthened through all that has happened.

For many 2020 will go down as the year of Covid. For those of us who walk with God, this has been a year in which we have seen His great faithfulness, mercy and love. As we dwell on this truth, His Word reinforces just how blessed we have been.

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.  (Lamentations 3:22-23)

You, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. (Psalm 86:15)

The Lord is good, 
a refuge in times of trouble.  He cares for those who trust in him.  (Nahum 1:7)

He is the God who leads us to green pastures and still waters, who restores our our souls and renews our hope (Psalm 23:2-3; Isaiah 40:31).   He is our refuge and strength (Psalm 46:1).  The 
Lord watches over all who love him (Psalm 14:20).

Friends, for we who know God, who are in a covenant relationship with Him there is always a reason to give thanks, to praise our God for HIs abundant goodness.  Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. (Psalm 106:1)

The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (Psalm 18:2)

This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says...in quietness and trust is your strength (Isaiah 30:15).

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High 
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:1-2)

May you rest in the shadow of the Almighty as we journey together in 2021.

Happy New Year!
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Meet Riley

3/22/2020

3 Comments

 
With all the concern related to Covid - 19, and because some of you have asked, I'm posting a few pics of our grandson!  (Let me assure you this will not be on-going but given the gravity of the current situation around the globe, maybe some pictures will bring you a smile.)

I might be biased but he's a pretty sweet little guy.
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3 Comments

Welcome Riley!

3/7/2020

3 Comments

 
It was the news we had been waiting to hear; four words that brought to me a measure of great joy...'you have a grandson'.  There was a sense of relief in knowing the baby was healthy and that his mom was recovering well after a caesarian birth -- and that dad was okay!  We were thrilled for Scott and Tiffany, excited to see pictures and to Skype with them and across the miles to share in their joy.  We have been blessed by so many that have shared in this joy with us, including our church family at Valley.
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It doesn't seem that long ago that we welcomed our son into the world.  To watch him grow into the man he has become has been one of my greatest joys as a dad. Seeing him now holding his son is indescribable -- truly this is has to be one of our proudest moments as parents.  

Janice and I have been so blessed to be the mom and dad of three incredible children; we have watched them grow, launch out on their own and pursue their dreams.  We have shared in all the significant moments of their lives, we have walked with them through the hard times and celebrate their accomplishments -- I think that's what God had in mind when He gave them to us!

That we would be entrusted to help shape their lives is truly a sacred responsibility.  The greatest investment of our time and resources has been given to our kids; it's a choice for which have absolutely no regrets.  For me as a dad, I have always needed to know 'my kids are okay'; that God is watching over them, particularly as we have faced the challenges of having great distances between us.  God has been so good, so faithful to us as a mom and dad; as we often sing, 'what a good God You've been, what a faithful God You've been, what a loving God You've been to me'.

I think back to a number of times when I said from the pulpit, 'we only have them for a season and that season passes so quickly'.  I often wonder, 'where has the time gone'?  It seems only yesterday they were carefree, playing in the yard, enjoying their childhood.  We have some wonderful memories of their growing up years!  When they were young, some friends, who were ahead of us as parents, gave us some of the best advice we have ever received...'enjoy every season with them'.  Every season has brought us great joy!

And now we are into a new season and I can't wait to see what God has in store for them and for us!  That which gives me great confidence as we continue this journey is the assurance that our good God will continue to guide and direct their lives; that the One who has been so faithful will continue to pour out His grace and favor upon them and now upon the next generation.  In this, I claim the promise of God to His people...The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs...you will find your joy in the Lord.  (Isaiah 58:11,14)

To Lisa, Scott & Tiffany and Riley, Andrea and Jason, these are the words I pray into your lives...may you always know His guidance, may You be satisfied in Him and may your lives be marked with same joy your mom and I have found in living a life of faith.


The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. (Psalm 28:7)

3 Comments

Encourage One Another

9/28/2019

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Recently I found myself making an unplanned trip back to Grande Prairie.  The Elders graciously allowed me to make last minute plans to go to help our oldest daughter prepare to make a move to the Okanagan.  After spending the last 8 years in northern Alberta, Lisa has accepted a new position in the library at the University of British Columbia Okanagan campus in Kelowna.  While she had done a good job of packing and getting her things ready to be loaded on the truck, I think she appreciated the last minute assist from dad.

This experience reminded me again that you never stop being a parent.  Even though the last move left Janice and I saying, 'never again', when the call came, I was compelled to respond; it's what a dad does. 

At some point in our journey there will come a role reversal, when our children take on more of the caregiver role and we as parents are called to graciously allow them to help provide such care.  I wonder, does that mean I get to behave like a child again!

At Valley we have been blessed to share our journey with friends who are ahead of us on the pathway.  We have been able to interact and learn from those have walked through this life for a longer period of time, who are more seasoned as parents and grandparents -- this has been for us a tremendous encouragement.  As I thought about all the ways you have built into our lives I realized again this another blessing of being in community together.  

The Bible tells us to 'instruct one another' (Romans 15:14), to 'teach and admonish one another' (Colossians 3:16) and to 'encourage one another' (2 Corinthians 13:1).  The church is more than just a place where we gather for worship and service to our Lord; it is a place where we do life together -- where we support and build up and encourage one another.  In the church we are 'devoted to one another' (Romans 12:10); it is a place where we 'honor one another' (Romans 12;10).

We understand, we don't always do this perfectly for we are fallen, fallible human beings, but the friendship we share at Valley really is a gift to one another.  So, in this season of our lives I want to encourage you to nurture the friendships God has given us, to continue to build into each others lives and support one another.
One of the most Christ-honoring things we can do for one another is simply to walk with each other through this season of our lives -- may we be faithful in doing just that!

Let me encourage you again to consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.  (Hebrews 10:24)
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Thank You Dad

6/15/2019

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It happened again just recently; it's happening more frequently!  While away a server casually mentioned, "we have a senior's discount".  I usually have my line ready, "don't let the grey hair fool you" or "define 'senior'".  I'm learning, if they want to give me a discount for being grey / older -- just accept it!

This little episode made me think about the many ways I have been addressed over the years; the labels we use to categorize one another.  When a child is born, we speak about him or her as an infant, as they grow we refer to them as toddlers, then children, adolescents / teens, young adults, adults, parents, seniors and grandparents. 

My parents named me 'Kenneth Murray' after my grandfathers. My great aunt called me 'Kenny'; she's the only one who could do that!  My older sister called me a brat; I've been called worse!  On the first day of High School, while reading of the list of students in his class, my gym teacher, read 'Clarke, Ken' and immediately called me 'Superman'; not very original, but a nickname that stuck with me through my High School years.  My manager at Dominion Stores called me 'KC' and my teammates called me 'Clarkey'.  For the past 30+ years I have been called 'Pastor' or 'Pastor Ken' and more recently I've been getting more 'Sir' or 'Mr. Clarke'; that's when you know you're getting older!

Of all the ways I've been addressed there is one name that is most meaningful to me, 'Dad'.  One of the greatest joys in my life is to be the father of Lisa, Scott and Andrea, to share life together with them.  Our journey has changed through the ages but the somewhat irrational and powerful bond that started the day I held each of them in my arms continues to grow stronger with the passing of the years.

I think of the concerts, the hockey and volleyball games and school events we attended to watch one of our kids, the times I would pick them up and surprise them by taking them out to lunch, the walks along the beach, the countless number of papers I have edited over the years and the phone calls and text messages that continue to keep us connected.  I think of times I have simply listened or challenged their thinking or offered words of encouragement and the many times we have prayed for our children.  I think of the 'big events' we have shared but also the more ordinary, everyday times that are perhaps more meaningful. 

Last year, on her wedding day, Andrea gave to me a card and note that I have cherished.  I asked her if I could share just a few sentences from it and so I have her permission to share the following words; words that capture how blessed I am to be called 'Dad'.

Saying thank you will never be enough to express how thankful I am to have you as my father.  You have always been a strong, guiding presence throughout my life.  A father's unconditional love is truly a blessing.  I am so glad God has blessed me with a wonderful childhood and two loving parents.  Dad, you have always been there for me no matter what...you have made me a better person.  I carry a bit of your stubbornness but also your incredible strength and intelligence.  You have taught me everything from finances to living a life of faith...thank you, dad for being my teacher and mentor...you have given me a strong foundation to live my life.  You have always pushed me to finish what I start and be the best I can be.  Thank you Dad!

I don't know if there are any other words more encouraging...thank you Dad. 

As I think of my on-going role as a dad and what it is I want my life to be about in the time that I have left on this planet, I cycle back to one of my stated purposes for this season of my life; to bless those closest to me. 
To paraphrase the words of Genesis 48:15-16, where Jacob blessed Joseph and his sons, May the God... who has been my shepherd all my life to this day, bless my firstborn daughter, Lisa, my only son, Scott and my youngest daughter, Andrea.  Dads, may we find great joy as we seek to be a blessing to our families all the days of our life.

As I reflect on all this, I am reminded again that I have a heavenly Father who cares for me.  I may not always get it right as a dad, but there is One who is always caring and ever faithful, ready and willing to respond to me as His child.  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!  (Matthew 7:11)


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By the Numbers

2/22/2019

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It's been a few days now, since I have returned from a trip 'back east'; a trip that included three days in Boston with Scott and Lisa and a couple of days in Chatham with my mom.  Since returning, I've been asked several times, 'how was your trip?'  So, here's a report, 'by the numbers'.

2:18 a.m. -- my trip began very early on Friday morning, February 8th.  If you remember that was the morning we had a snowstorm in the valley and the Highway 97 was closed. I made my way to Kelowna via Rock Creek and Highway 33 -- arriving at the airport at 5:46 a.m.

10,400 km -- the distance travelled from Oliver to Kelowna, to Toronto, Boston, back to Buffalo -- from there to Hamilton and then Chatham -- back to Hamilton, then Toronto, Calgary,  Kelowna and finally home!

1:15 minutes -- the length of time we stood in line to pass through customs in Toronto

15 -- the number of transit tickets needed to get around Boston -- the city has a great transit system

1000 -- we were on hand when the Bruins honored Patrice Bergeron for playing in his 1000th NHL game , all as member of the Bruins.

5-4 -- an overtime victory by the Bruins on Saturday afternoon against the L.A. Kings -- Bergeron scored the overtime winner!

Row BB, seats 5,6 and 7 -- Scott was able to secure  Club Seats that enabled us to take a 'behind-the-scenes' tour on the executive suite levels -- display after display of Boston sports memorabilia!  We even met former Bruin player and current President Cam Neely.

2-1 -- another overtime victory on Sunday afternoon against the Colorado Avalanche -- we had a perfect view of the winning goal!

4:41 a.m. -- a fire alarm served as an early wake up call our last morning in Boston!

2cm -- the thickness of ice I had to scrape from the car after a winter storm in southwestern Ontario.

3:42 a.m. -- another early morning to get to the airport in Toronto -- another wintery drive!

6 hours -- the length of time our flights were delayed!
Picture
As we talk this Sunday about keeping 'one eye on eternity', we all realize there are matters significantly more important than travel plans and hockey games but the Bible tells us, God richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. (1 Timothy 6:17)  This same verse instructs us not put our hope, our trust in wealth, in the things of this world, but it's okay to enjoy what God has given.   For me this includes a love of the game of hockey, an opportunity to bless my kids and to spend time with people I care about -- it was a blessing and I celebrate HIs kindness to me; a kindness that is in part shared through you as you faithfully supply for my  needs as your pastor.  Thank you for allowing me to share in this blessing!

Lisa captured the overtime goals!
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The Power of Words

10/6/2018

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I've been thinking lately about the power of our words; to build up or tear down.  Proverbs 18:21 tells us, the tongue has the power of life and death.  It sounds so incredibly simple, but we do have within us the ability to bless and encourage others simply by what we say and how we say it. But, too often I find that is easier said than done.  Not surprisingly, the Bible says...no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.  With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.  (James 3:8-10)

To live by faith requires making choices; in this case, the choice to use our words for good, to speak hope and life into another.  The soothing tongue is a tree of life. (Proverbs 15:4)  Everyday we have the opportunity to speak kind words, gentle words, hope-filled words; words the express appreciation and words that heal and inspire.

Recently I was watching television program in which the main character had a mantra that guided his leadership, 'how can I help'?  There are so many of these kinds of words / phrases that, when spoken, have a powerful and lasting impact on those who receive them.  As I thought about this, several words and phrases came to mind:

"I'm praying for you" 

"You can do it"

"Is there anything you need?"

"I'm here for you"

"I'll be there"

"You can count on me"

Words of common courtesy like "please" and "thank you"

Around Valley we often say "we'll make it work"

"We serve as a team"

"I love you"

"I'm sorry"

In all of this I am reminded again of God's words to me:  Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine...you are precious and honored in my sight...I love you.  (Isaiah 43:1,4)  How precious are the words of God to us!

As you think about the power of our words, I wonder, what are those words / phrases that you have spoken or heard that have blessed and encouraged your and inspired others.  Please use the comment section below or send an email to pass along those words / phrases that we might encourage one another as we continue to do life together and spur one another on to love and good deeds.

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Who Do You See by David Thwaites

9/21/2018

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The following is a poem written by a friend of mine, David Thwaites.  David and I served together on the leadership team at Covenant Community Church in Orangeville.  During my time there I connected with David's son Bryan; a teenager at the time who has spend the better part of his teenage years and now his entire adult life battling addiction, mental health issues and the abuse of living on the streets.

In David's words, I hope this poem...gives you pause the next time you see a homeless person, not because this guilts you but because you have the potential to be the person who makes a difference in that person's life.  Thanks for reading.

I stumbled as I crossed the street, my belongings in a bag
I slept upon the darkened park bench, the wind and cold set in my bones
I curled upon the street vent with an empty bottle as my pillow
I sat with vacant eyes dulled by thoughts that were all random


Who do you see when you look at me, refuse in a corner?
Do you see the voices screeching within my mind?
Do you see the pain of my abuse and the anger burning within me?
Do you see my brain melted by the calming drugs both the illicit and the legal?
Do you see my scrambled mind from beatings that left me disabled?
Who do you see when you look at me? 

Who do you see when you look at me, a life whose worth is long forgotten?
Do you see my inward pain struggling for release?
Do you see my rejection as the doors of help are shut on me, my resources all depleted?
Do you see the loss of hope etched in the dirt and smell about me?
Do you see the loss of pride, my shoulders and eyes despairing?
Who do you see when you look at me? 


Who do you see when you look at me, a man without a past?
Do you see the little boy who ran with joy abounded?
Do you see the child who raced on skates and scored the goals with hope galore?
Do you see the young man who had the potential to serve those in need?
Do you see someone’s son, gone missing in action?
Who do you see when you look at me? 

Who do you see when you look at me?
Do you see a child of God with potential to love and serve?
Who do you see when you look at me?
Please see the child I am

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Reflections from a Dad

6/17/2018

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As I begin to write this Father’s Day posting I am sitting in the airport in Grand Prairie; waiting to return home. I made the 12-hour drive back with Lisa the day before, so that she would not have to make that long trip on her own; it’s a journey I have made several times over the past few years.  The ‘good-bye’ is never easy.

As I sat there, my mind reflected back on the past few days; our kids were all together for the first time in two years as we celebrated the wedding of our youngest.  I thought about how blessed I have been as a dad.  As I thought about this, three simple images came to mind that in many ways have defined me as a father.

As strange as it may sound, the first image comes from a moment in a grocery store.  I went with Lisa as she replenished her fridge. Her list consisted of a few dairy products and fresh fruits and vegetables, but typical of her dad, I kept asking,’ do you need...’, and a few more items went into the cart.  At one point she picked up a bottle of grape juice; there’s nothing special about the juice but in that moment, I had thought to myself, if this was Janice and me in the store, I would look at the juice and look at the price and put it back on the shelf and wait until it went on sale.  But, for my daughter this is was a small thing I could do to bless her, so into the cart it went.  I love doing little things for her / for my kids.

The second image was from a few days ago, when I sat on the edge of our bed and read a note Andrea had written to me; a thank you note for sharing in her wedding, but more than that, a note to her dad.  It is a message from my daughter that I will cherish the rest of my life. I thought about that moment when we walked down the aisle last Saturday and then a hundred other moments passed quickly in my mind, moments we had shared together, and I realized again, how blessed I am to be her dad.

The third image that crossed my mind was from earlier this year when I stood at the top level of the TD Gardens in Boston; my son Scott was standing below and behind him I could see the ‘spoked B’ at centre ice.  We had arrived early for the game, there were very few other fans around and for just that moment, it felt like just me and my son.  That I was able to share in this trip with him brought to me a measure of joy as his dad.

Over the years, Janice and I have given to our kids a selfless, sacrificial love; we have never had a lot, but have always sought to be generous with what we have been given.  I think of the trips we made to Myrtle Beach when the kids where younger; dinner at the Dutch Valley Restaurant in Sugar Creek, Ohio, apple fitters at the Dutch Panty when we crossed the state line into Virginia, a round of mini-golf with a ‘two-for-one coupon’ and the early bird special at the Filling Station, an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet.  I think of the times I would surprise one of them by picking them up at school and taking them for lunch at Pizza Hut or stopping at the drive-thru at McDonalds with Scott after a road game.  I remember selling some of my hockey cards to purchase goalie equipment for him and somehow scraping together the funds to help Lisa take a school trip to Europe.  I think of all the flights we have booked to get our kids home, the gifts cards tucked in an ‘I miss you’ note or the many times we have helped with gas or groceries just to make things a bit easier for them.  I think about all the sacrifices we have made and wouldn’t change a thing!

As I thought about all this, the words of Jesus from the Sermon on the Mount came to mind:  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!  (Matthew 7:11)  My Heavenly Father is outrageously generous and gracious to me; I am blessed to His child.

I thought about all the ways God has surprised and blessed me over the years; about the selfless, sacrificial love that He has poured into my life.  Maybe, just maybe, the heart that I have as father is simply a reflection, an imperfect reflection, of the heart of my Father.  I have seen this heart in the fathers and mothers at Valley, so I know you will join in celebrating and giving thanks for the privilege and joy that is ours to be a parent!

Happy Father’s Day to all our dads!

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    Ken Clarke has been the Pastor at Valley since 2007. He lives in the Oliver area 
    with his wife Janice. They have three adult children, Lisa, Scott & Tiffany (Riley, Charlie), Andrea & Jason (Noah, Luke).

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4312 Black Sage Road Box 1235 Oliver, BC V0H 1T0 250-498-4829 valleyccc@hotmail.com