“Cancer always wins.”

These words from one whose dog lost a battle with canine lymphoma are hauntingly ominous.  As I write, Janice and I are seeking to come to terms with the news that our beloved dog has relapsed -- the cancer has returned.  Just a month ago, things looked good as Chara had a check up; how quickly things change.  As we wrestle through whether or not consider chemotherapy treatments again, the reality is she is only going to be with for a short time longer.  In this case, cancer will win again.  The heart-wrenching decision to say goodbye and not allow her to suffer will weigh heavily in the days ahead—memories from 5 years ago when we had to walk a similar path with our dog Shady are flooding my mind.
 
My head is spinning – I think of many who have lost a battle to cancer.  I think of Janice’s sister who battled for two years before finally having to surrender at the age of 42.  I think of Monique, who battled so long and so courageously before losing to cancer just recently.  When I think of the long list, there’s a sadness to threatens to linger like a dark cloud.
 
My theology and experience tell me this is a consequence of living in a fallen world; that while disease and death were never part of God’s plan for mankind, none of us are spared the reality of having to face such moments in our journey – even as we walk by faith.  I know there is a hopefulness that is ours in Christ, but for me, it’s okay – not only okay, but necessary – for me to admit all this still troubles me.  At times it feels like such losses just never end.
 
But…one day…one day…it will end!  This is our ultimate hope.  The promise from our Lord is that is coming day when…there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.  (Revelation 21:4)  There is coming a day when every loss will be redeemed and every tear will be wiped dry. And, can I say it again, friends…what a day, what day that will be.  In God’s kingdom, cancer does not get the last word, death does not get the last word, pain and sorrow do not get the last word.  God has the last word and His word is one of hope and joy, even amidst the saddens of loss. 
 
Tomorrow I will share the words of the prophet Habakkuk, who also faced troubling circumstances; I will remind our people at Valley of the hope and joy, the strength and courage we find in our God.  Today, I pray, Lord, remind me.  You are the God who sees and the God who cares.
 
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.  (Matthew 10:29-31)
 
Father, if it’s not too much to ask -- I know that you delight in your creation; that the puppy that has brought us so much joy also delights your heart -- so would You please give us wisdom and courage and would you provide strength in multiplied measures to those who are facing similar battles with the ones they care about so deeply.
 
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength.  (Habakkuk 3:17-19)

As I begin to write this Father’s Day posting I am sitting in the airport in Grand Prairie; waiting to return home. I made the 12-hour drive back with Lisa the day before, so that she would not have to make that long trip on her own; it’s a journey I have made several times over the past few years.  The ‘good-bye’ is never easy.

As I sat there, my mind reflected back on the past few days; our kids were all together for the first time in two years as we celebrated the wedding of our youngest.  I thought about how blessed I have been as a dad.  As I thought about this, three simple images came to mind that in many ways have defined me as a father.

As strange as it may sound, the first image comes from a moment in a grocery store.  I went with Lisa as she replenished her fridge. Her list consisted of a few dairy products and fresh fruits and vegetables, but typical of her dad, I kept asking,’ do you need...’, and a few more items went into the cart.  At one point she picked up a bottle of grape juice; there’s nothing special about the juice but in that moment, I had thought to myself, if this was Janice and me in the store, I would look at the juice and look at the price and put it back on the shelf and wait until it went on sale.  But, for my daughter this is was a small thing I could do to bless her, so into the cart it went.  I love doing little things for her / for my kids.

The second image was from a few days ago, when I sat on the edge of our bed and read a note Andrea had written to me; a thank you note for sharing in her wedding, but more than that, a note to her dad.  It is a message from my daughter that I will cherish the rest of my life. I thought about that moment when we walked down the aisle last Saturday and then a hundred other moments passed quickly in my mind, moments we had shared together, and I realized again, how blessed I am to be her dad.

The third image that crossed my mind was from earlier this year when I stood at the top level of the TD Gardens in Boston; my son Scott was standing below and behind him I could see the ‘spoked B’ at centre ice.  We had arrived early for the game, there were very few other fans around and for just that moment, it felt like just me and my son.  That I was able to share in this trip with him brought to me a measure of joy as his dad.

Over the years, Janice and I have given to our kids a selfless, sacrificial love; we have never had a lot, but have always sought to be generous with what we have been given.  I think of the trips we made to Myrtle Beach when the kids where younger; dinner at the Dutch Valley Restaurant in Sugar Creek, Ohio, apple fitters at the Dutch Panty when we crossed the state line into Virginia, a round of mini-golf with a ‘two-for-one coupon’ and the early bird special at the Filling Station, an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet.  I think of the times I would surprise one of them by picking them up at school and taking them for lunch at Pizza Hut or stopping at the drive-thru at McDonalds with Scott after a road game.  I remember selling some of my hockey cards to purchase goalie equipment for him and somehow scraping together the funds to help Lisa take a school trip to Europe.  I think of all the flights we have booked to get our kids home, the gifts cards tucked in an ‘I miss you’ note or the many times we have helped with gas or groceries just to make things a bit easier for them.  I think about all the sacrifices we have made and wouldn’t change a thing!

As I thought about all this, the words of Jesus from the Sermon on the Mount came to mind:  If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!  (Matthew 7:11)  My Heavenly Father is outrageously generous and gracious to me; I am blessed to His child.

I thought about all the ways God has surprised and blessed me over the years; about the selfless, sacrificial love that He has poured into my life.  Maybe, just maybe, the heart that I have as father is simply a reflection, an imperfect reflection, of the heart of my Father.  I have seen this heart in the fathers and mothers at Valley, so I know you will join in celebrating and giving thanks for the privilege and joy that is ours to be a parent!

Happy Father’s Day to all our dads!

The following is the text of the Words of Encouragement I shared with Andrea and Jason at their wedding ceremony; words not just from a pastor, officiating this ceremony but words of a dad to his daughter and son-in-law.

When Andrea was younger, I used to call her my ‘littlest one’ and I would tell her, you will always be my ‘littlest one’ and her face would light up.  Today my ‘littlest one’ is getting married and I have the privilege of being the father of the bride and the one officiating this ceremony.
 
As an officiant I have stood with numerous couples in moments just like this and have shared with them some words of encouragement.  My thoughts have always centered around two basic truths:  keep the joy factor high in your marriage and build it on a foundation of faith.  As I said to Scott and Tiffany four years ago…you can make it a lot more complicated than that but do these two things well and you will have a strong marriage.
 
Jason and Andrea, each of you brings your own strengths, your unique abilities and talents to this marriage; you bring all of who you are to this marriage.
 
One of my favorite stories about Andrea goes back to the time we lived in Hamilton.  Andrea has always been…how do I say this…determined – she has a mind of her own.  On this day she was riding her bike and I had told her stay on our street, don’t go around the corner (where I could not see her).  Off she went…around the corner.  She came back, I told her again…don’t go around the corner or I’ll have to spank you.  She looked at me with an expression that said, ‘spank me now, because I’m going around the corner’! 
 
Andrea, that determined spirit has in many ways served you well--in part you are who you are today because of you have followed your dreams and stayed resolute; you have worked hard and we are so very proud of you.  We have watched as you and Jason have begun to build a live together. 
 
Jason, I have watched you care for and treat my daughter with love and respect – no dad could ask for anything more from a son-in-law.  That you are hard-working, with a willing spirit to help others only magnifies the appreciation Janice and I have for you.  We see how happy you are together and we celebrate that with you today. 
 
We share, as family and friends in the joy of a wedding because there is something in all of us that wants for a bride and groom to simply be happy.  So of course, as a dad, that would be my desire for you as you become husband and wife.
 
But, and I know it’s going to sound strange, especially in this context, but, I would wish for you as well some challenges along the way.  Because, it is through such challenges, when the hard times come and the path is not clear, that our character is strengthened and our faith grows. Your marriage will be stronger when you walk that path together; and your mom and I want that for you—a strong, enduring marriage.
 
We want you to be blessed, to have all that you need to enjoy live to the fullest.  But I also wish for you a measure of want; that you might know what it to go without.  Because those times give to us a greater appreciation for what we do have; they remind us how very blessed we are – and we want that for you – that you would have a both measure of humility and gratitude and not a sense of entitlement – that you would be generous with what you’ve been given; that you would be a blessing to others.
 
I encourage you to build into each other and to bring out the best in each other – to live in and face whatever life brings you with a united strength. But I also wish for those times when your own strength is not enough.  Because it’s then that we realize there is a God in heaven who wants to be part of our lives, our homes and marriages.
 
I believe to the core of my being that living of life of faith is the best way for any of us to journey through our days on earth.  More than anything else we want for you to know the fullness of God’s blessing in your lives and in your marriage.
 
Andrea, I want you to know, I love you, I am so very happy for you, you are still and will always be my ‘littlest one’.  Jason, we are so pleased that you have come into Andrea’s life and ours; we look forward to sharing the next chapter of your stories – two stories that today are being united into one. 

Before you share your vows with one another and we make this official, I want to pray for you, not as a pastor but as a dad.

My friends at Valley, please join Janice and me in asking God to bless, to lead and direct Jason and Andrea.

Anyone reading these words prone to worrying?  Anyone dealing with anxious thoughts that keep you awake at night?
 
To worry is to give way to the anxiety/ uneasiness the concerns of life bring into our everyday existence; to allow our mind to dwell on them.   Worry is excessive concern over the affairs of life--the key in this definition is “excessive”.  Worry is an all-consuming feeling of uncertainty and fear.
 
The word ‘worry’ comes from the English wyrgan, which means to strangle or to choke.  For me, that’s a helpful image because we’ve all felt the stranglehold worry can have on us—it drains life from us.  Not only does it wear us out, it steals away our spiritual vibrancy because it displaces God in our lives.  When we worry, we are living as though God does not exist / cannot be trusted; as though you alone can solve your problems.
 
Most of us worry a lot more than we might think or care to admit.
 
Here is God’s simple response to our worries:  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)
 
The King James Version states it this way: Casting all your cares upon him, for he careth for you.
 
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. (New Living Translation
 
Phillips translates this verse:  You can throw the whole weight of your anxieties upon him, for you are his personal concern.
 
Since God cares for you, let him carry all your burdens and worries. (The Voice)
 
Casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].  (Amplified Bible)
 
Did you notice the different words that were used is these translations? Anxieties, cares, worries, burdens, concerns—that pretty much covers all that life can throw at us.
And o matter which word you choose, God makes the same invitation: take those concerns, those burdens, your worries, your cares and anxieties and give them to me; because I care about you--He is the God, who sees, the God who cares, the God who provided.
 
As you look at the text of 1 Peter 5:7, you’ll see that there is a definite response required on our part—to cast all your anxieties/ cares on Him.  The word “cast” means to throw off.  It’s the picture of a solider removing his pack at the end of a long march; taking the weight off his shoulders and placing it aside. By an act of the will we are to unload/ unburden the weight of our worries/ anxieties.
 
But here’s the funny thing about us as human beings; as strange as it may sound, we’re more comfortable holding on to our worries.  Worry gives the illusion we are in control and we like to be/ to appear to be in control.
 
Either He carries the burden or we do.  If we do, we’ll be distracted, troubled, confused, frustrated and weighed down. If He carries the load, we may still experience a troubled spirit at times, we will still face challenges along the way, but we don’t have to be consumed by anxiety and gripped by fear and despair.  The beauty of these words of God to us is not just that our burdens will be lifted, but the He, the God of the universe, will carry them for you.  Our response is simply to let go; to cast them on Him.
Why would we carry that heavy weight, when the God of Heaven and Earth will carry it for us?
Why would we stagger under that load, when our Lord says, “let me take that from you”?  His invitation is both liberating and refreshing. Why would we ever refuse such a gracious offer?
God has his thoughts fixed on you; you are close tot his heart.  You are his beloved child. That’s the beauty of our faith; we live under the care of the One who loves us irrationally.
 
We all have concerns, we all wonder what tomorrow will bring.  But in those moments when those legitimate concerns cross line and we find ourselves consumed by anxious thoughts, that’s when we need to cycle back to the truth of 1 Peter 5:7:  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. You don’t have to cave into those anxious thoughts; He has invited you to cast those cares/ concerns on Him.  You can live without the suffocating worry that strangles our faith and drains our joy.
 
When anxious thoughts come and worry weighs heavy on your soul, our Lord quietly whispers: “cast all your cares on Me, because I care for you; trust Me, do not be afraid, I am with you always”.