When Janice and I were engaged, preparing to become husband and wife, we were encouraged to read “Tough and Tender” by Joyce Landorf.  In her book, men are exhorted to become strong leaders and yet to have a gentle spirit; courageous decision makers and lovingly tender.  

One of the manifestations of this balance between strength and gentleness is common courtesy; manners, which is missing in many marriages, many homes and many churches.  

Landorf writes, “Manners are the highest form of Christ-like love”. 

In the context of a marriage, common courtesy is part of what Paul meant when he said a husband should love his wife as Christ loved the church.  It is part of Peter means when wives are encouraged to be cooperative and respectful.  Manners are demonstrations of honor and love within the home.  They are often small, but authentic acts of kindness extended toward others because we desire to honor them; and honoring one another is what we are called to do as Christians.

Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.   (Romans 12:10)

Ephesians 4:32 commands us to be kind to one another.  This is theme that runs all through the New Testament.  Kindness is a reflection on the character of God, who is revealed in Scripture as both loving and kind.  In Jesus we see strength of conviction, strong leadership and courageous decision-making.  But we also see a kind and gentle spirit.  Kindness and gentleness are both fruits of the Spirit; they are manifestations of God’s grace in our lives.

 “Please” and “thank you”, “excuse me”, “I’m sorry”, “forgive me” and “may I help you” are all expressions of kindness and love.  They are the mark of God’s people.  May our homes be marked by such love; may Valley be a place where the value of common courtesy is held high and may we be a people of kindness and gentleness.

 

You don't have to hang around Valley very long before you will hear:                              
     Doing life God’s way is the best possible way to live.  

We hear it often at Valley because I believe it is true.  Living a life of faith in God really is the best possible way for us to journey through our days on earth.  We were created for such a life.  The Psalmist recognized this truth when he wrote:

 Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you,                                                                                
    who walk in the light of your presence, Lord.  (Psalm 89:15)

Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him.  (Psalm 128:1)

This desire to live in the presence of our Lord and to follow His ways is something God Himself has placed in our hearts.  He is committed to bless those who walk in His ways.  Solomon would say:

“Lord, the God of Israel, there is no God like you in heaven above or on earth below—you who keep your covenant of love with your servants who continue wholeheartedly in your way.  (1 Kings 8:23)

And He would pray:

“Praise be to the Lord, who has given rest to his people Israel just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave through his servant Moses.  May the Lord our God be with us as he was with our ancestors; may he never leave us nor forsake us.  May he turn our hearts to him, to walk in obedience to him and keep the commands, decrees and laws he gave our ancestors.  And may your hearts be fully committed to the Lord our God, to live by his decrees and obey his commands, as at this time.”   (1 Kings 8:56-58, 61)

I believe to core of my being that a life lived by faith; a faith rooted in the person and work of Jesus Christ is the best possible life.  But I also know how easy it is for us to lose our focus—our hearts wander and our faith wavers.  We are easily distracted, easily led astray.  We need to come back again and again to the simple but profound truth that God’s way really is a better way.  And so we pray with the Psalmist:

Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths.  Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my  Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.  (Psalm 25:4-5)