That was my question as I sat at a conference with about 700 other women. I often feel alone in a crowd and I slip away within myself and talk to God, alone with Him in the midst of the busyness that surrounds me. I had just travelled by bus for 20 hours with 30 women who travelled to Calgary for this conference. There was much enthusiasm and laughter as the ladies looked forward to the music and speakers and powerful times of prayer. As for me I either read, slept or thought of my students who were so needy.
My first morning in the city I went for a solitary walk so I wouldn't disturb the four others that were sharing a room with me. I saw a woman on the street who was obviously a woman of the night and I could see pain and despair on her countenance. Impulsively I walked up to her and handed her a $20.00 bill and invited her to join us at the conference that night in the hotel next to us. I walked on and then began to second guess myself and thought that was foolish, she will just use the money to support her habit. Then I promptly forgot her.
Now I was sitting in the meeting feeling detached from others and I began to question the Lord, "Why?" I had felt very clearly that I was supposed to come. Suddenly I saw someone about 20 seats to my left stand up and begin to walk to the exit. I quickly followed down the aisle next to me and arrived at the back anteroom the same time she arrived. She saw me and held out her arms and ran to hug me. Without a word being spoken she clung to my neck and quietly sobbed. I was soon tired of holding her up so I slowly backed up to the wall and slid down the wall. I stretched out my legs and she put her head in my lap and fell into a deep sleep. Not a word was spoken by either of us.
I held her and prayed for this wounded child of God for the next hour or so that the speaker spoke and the meeting ended after prayer and worship. I had the answer to my question of ' Why am I here?' As I stroked her hair I knew that I was Jesus' hands to minister love to this one who happened to be 2,000 miles from where I lived. She wakened as the people streamed out of the conference and I found someone to give her a ride home. There was a holy hush around us and there was no need to speak as the Holy Spirit was directing...I didn't even ask her name.
For the next two days I had a great time of fellowship as we corporately worshipped God, prayed and were fed from the Word. Sunday morning there was a time for testimonies and there on stage before a crowd of 700 was the little lady from the street. She had accepted Jesus as Lord and had been loved into the Kingdom as many rallied around her, giving rides and ministering love.
Each of us has a part to play in the body of Christ, and we never know when an act of kindness will result in a miracle of new birth. I pray that I will respond to the urging of the Holy Spirit and not become hardened to the suffering around me. Keep me sensitive Lord!